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The Dragonslayer

—creative courtroom concepts –

 

 

We been suggesting that a lawyer might earn himself/herself a winning reputation as a good storyteller. We have already mentioned an attorney friend from Louisiana who told delightful Cajun stories.  Military juries couldn’t wait to hear what he would say next.

Particularly with a sitting military jury, members might actually look forward to a quick moment of lawyer humor prior to an otherwise serious case.

Caution – be certain everyone is on board with this.  Suggestion: Apply humor at an early point,  far  removed from testimony.  Perhaps during voir dire or opening statement.

Suppose a lawyer presents himself/herself as one with a wonderful marriage… but for some reason,  people keep thinking the couple fights all the time.

That’s the “setup.”  You then tell  one of the stories below:

——————————————————

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as aChristmas gift. The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

________________________________


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered.

I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’ She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes.. .’   I made a little joke and said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…

________________________________


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

I made a little joke and said: “Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..

_______________________________


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?” “Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”   I made a little joke and said “My God!” Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started…

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds.”

I made a little joke and said I would buy her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started……

______________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

compliment.’  I made a little joke and said, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started……..

_________________________________________________________________________


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