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The Dragonslayer

—creative courtroom concepts –



We been suggesting that a lawyer might earn himself/herself a winning reputation as a good storyteller. We have already mentioned an attorney friend from Louisiana who told delightful Cajun stories.  Military juries couldn’t wait to hear what he would say next.

Particularly with a sitting military jury, members might actually look forward to a quick moment of lawyer humor prior to an otherwise serious case.

Caution – be certain everyone is on board with this.  Suggestion: Apply humor at an early point,  far  removed from testimony.  Perhaps during voir dire or opening statement.

Suppose a lawyer presents himself/herself as one with a wonderful marriage… but for some reason,  people keep thinking the couple fights all the time.

That’s the “setup.”  You then tell  one of the stories below:


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as aChristmas gift. The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered.

I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’ She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes.. .’   I made a little joke and said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

I made a little joke and said: “Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?” “Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”   I made a little joke and said “My God!” Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started…


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds.”

I made a little joke and said I would buy her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started……


My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

compliment.’  I made a little joke and said, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started……..


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