Among our favorites………….
MILITARY DEFENSE COUNSEL: What was the first thing TSgt Roster said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
PROSECUTOR: Gunny, what gear were you in at the moment of the accident?
WITNESS: PT gear, ma’am.
MILITARY DEFENSE COUNSEL: Sergeant, what is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year
PROSECUTOR: So Master Chief, the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Having sex, sir.
MILITARY DEFENSE COUNSEL: Doctor, as a military healthcare giver, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.
PROSECUTOR: Private, all your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?